My family where there is no snow think it would be wonderful to come play in this snow.
My family who are here are out shoveling the driveway.
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This was a very pleasant morning. Just the stocking and core family gifts. The major gathering is tomorrow. That will be fun. This was pleasant. They are different in subtle ways with neither being better, but more appropriate to the time, place and people.
The gist of the matter, this is a holiday, last year, I didn’t know if I would make or not. I am so happy I did.
Love is good. Don’t waste it!!!
Hogmanay!!!
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It was close to a religious tradition to have my last two cars serviced every 3,000 miles.
When we bought our 2010 Sion Xb we were told the services were at 5 000 miles. The last two took me well over 300,000 miles.
it does make me nervous, but we will stick to their program. Now if they'd wash the waiting room floor once in a while, it might become a pleasant experience.
There are times when you find out just how many people are part of your life. This has been one of them. The routine of life, where you get up, drink you tea, shower, get dressed and go off to work, work, finish work, come home, have dinner, watch TV, answer email, go to bed and see only the few members of your family and the people with whom you work builds a false sense of being part of a very small community.
Then the proverbial fan became struck and my support structure came together with amazing speed and solidity. I can only say thank you so many times, but consider it a looped messages that will only end when I do.
This is great news. This blog has been left to rot while the Chemotherapy was still going and I wasn’t in the mood to update pages one at a time on line. I am now off chemotherapy for now and am in tri-monthly evaluation mode with a scan every six months instead of every month.
This should decrease my chances of glowing in the dark!!
There’s been a dearth of entries because I am currently in limbo. The chemotherapy has stopped and I am slowing getting over the side effects. We are hoping the swelling brought on by the steroids will abate.
Next is the PET scan. This is the limbo. Until the scan I am in a state of not knowing. Not knowing is probably the worst state someone like me, a confessed information junkie, can be in.
When we know something, you will know it. Thanks for you continued support over this long-long process.
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The Memorial Day weekend could not have come at a better time. It will give me another day of rest before returning to the work world. I might be able to add to the plant photograph I love to do while up here.
We will start the weekend at the farmers market and then return to read, eat and be merry with the dogs and Amie. -30-
Chemo # six, the last of the series, was completed today at Dana Farber in Boston. The most surprising thing was the standing ovation by patients and staff and the gift of a cake and bottle of “bubbly. They were so sweet.
I can’t say I looked forward to going in, the procedure itself is a difficult life choice to make and instantly transforms you in so many negative ways, all to save your life. What I can say is, I didn’t dread it.
I give most of the credit to my wife, who has stood and sat by me every minute of this ordeal, but, I have to give a good portion to Dana Farber, my doctor, her NP associate and the nursing staff who poked me in the most humane way possible.
It isn’t over. I go back in five weeks for another blood test and PET scan. This will be repeated over a period of time. If the results are good, it will be knocked down to a CAT scan over a longer period of time until five years goes by.
Everybody, all at once, touch wood.
This is picture of the tin man that welcomed us to our son’s school play on Saturday night.
I thought it reflected very well how I feel after the fifth of six sessions of Chemotherapy.
Parts out of place.
While I probably should have just taken the weekend totally off, even staid in bed, I refuse to let my life stop especially if the eventual permanent stopping has in anyway be accelerated by this.
During a previous time when I was taken out of the flow of life by a catastrophic event information I had gleaned from a book by Dr. Jonathon Miller, A Body in Question helped me substantially recover.
In the book, Dr. Miller mentions how a person when placed in the medical environment becomes a patient. As a patient they assume they are sick and therefore succumb to what they believe are the inevitable results.
I took that advice to heart and determined through dress and manner to be a guest of the hospital, not a patient. Using the same perspective, I am determined to be guest of this cancer and not its supporter.
To get to the grit of what is happening today, the effects are worse, more pronounced and extremely annoying. Now it’s time to get on with living as best I can with what I have.
The Body in Question |
Tomorrow is the fifth of the scheduled six chemotherapies. I can honestly say I do not look forward to this.
From the other side of the coin I do. This is the only option on the table. In my considerable experience with the lack of options, I’ve learned it makes no sense to fret.
When the options are do or don’t and don’t is obviously the wrong choice it ceases to be one. That leaves one thing to do.
The word options no longer applies.
The next week is going to be a balancing act. The Chemotherapy number five is this coming Thursday.
There have been many things I’ve not wanted to do but had to because it was the right thing to do.
When “Do the Right Thing” is our family motto, it gives me little leeway.
However, I am truly not looking forward to going through this again. It would be close to nine on the classic scale. If you knew me well, it would concern you when I place something that high on the scale. It concerns me.
For a moment there I thought I was having another hot flash but looked
over at the YoWindow display on my Acer monitor and discovered it IS 86 degrees out there and that ambient light is actual sunlight.
If three of the medications I am taking didn’t have the explicit warning to “AVOID EXPOSURE TO DIRECT SUNLIGHT” and there was any hair left on my head, I might be inclined to go outside.
Anyone who knows me would say that would be a stretch even before this whole Lymphoma thing started.
I will admit, it has always been my policy not to go to the beach. If I do find myself at the beach it is never without an umbrella of any size and a hat with a sizable brim. --------
It was when I was this size and wearing that bathing suit, I was left to sleep on a blanket at Rye Beach in upstate New York. It was under an umbrella but either the sun or I moved allowing my legs to be out in the sun for quite a while.
Look at those legs! Should they be exposed for any length of time to solar radiation???
Sun Poisoning or Photodermatitis is what they called it. Noxzema is what they put on it. As I know now, cold water would’ve been a better treatment. Let’s just say, these legs do not now, nor will they ever, be exposed to the sun for ANY length of time.
TMI, I know, but it’s Sunday afternoon & I’ve some time on my hand while Stephen Fry tweets his way from Heathrow to his London flat.
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For the past day or so, I’ve been running a low grade fever, bordering twixt 99.9 & 99.5. If it goes over 100.5, I get hospitalized, so it’s important to monitor it. This is in combination with the mouth sores, the last of the Chemo side effects on the list that I haven’t had.
You can say one thing for the chemo therapy, it gives you what it promises, not a good time. Again, if it works, then it’s worth it.
I can see, however, how some people, especially those with a low tolerance for pain, will put this off until the last possible moment or entirely.
It was the “if you don’t treat this, it will kill you…” part that inspired me to go ahead with the therapy and skip the maybe it will go away dream machine. It wasn’t going away, that was made obvious by the small potato that was growing under the skin in the back of my neck.
Alien….
It took me a while because of the room in the house where I planted this book, but I finally finished reading Citizens of London, by Lynn Olson.
![]() | Citizens of London: The Americans Who Stood with Britain in Its Darkest, Finest Hour |
Ms. Olson obviously has a crush on Gil Winant. Based on her narrative, this was the man who should have been VP when FDR died. If he had been instead of Harry Truman, the world would not be what it is today. Whether that’s a good thing or not, who can tell.
After reading
![]() | Team of Rivals |
a book so well constructed and researched, the random style Olson brings to history put me off at first.
Then, after her pages on Winant’s place in dealing with British reaction to the horrendous US racial policy imported to the UK with the American soldiers; I was able to see the point she was making about the heroics of “saving” democracy supported by the corrupted foundation of democracy itself.
I was saddened to read how Governor Winant died, but don’t go there until you finish the book.
While we were waiting for Belltowernews.com to reappear, we discovered an old URL from a now discontinued website we ran BB. (Before Blogs)
As did happen to most of the blogs we used to provide up to date information. Grazed Net became dormant once blogging and it’s younger cousins Facebook and Twitter came into the mainstream.
Grazed Net was one of the first sites we put up using a proprietary desktop application. We forget the application name, but we do remember it was on our 286 box.
That dates it before 2001.
Ancient by web standards.
And they were right.
The last PET scan was very promising with "No Uptake" as the result.
Not so the fourth.
The possible side effects have been openly listed from day one but they have, up until now, been few and mild.
Up until now
I should've kept a list, but I am fairly sure if there was a list for each of them, I would be ticking them off one by one over the past three days.
This is not a complaint. I am just reporting the facts.
If suffering through this is what it takes to stay alive, piece of cake... sort of... okay, slice of pie.
On Thursday, I went through the third of six planned chemotherapy sessions. On Friday, I managed to make it through a business meeting in the morning but by mid-afternoon I had just enough energy to make it into getting the white blood cell shot before I was wasted for the rest of the day.
Then, with the help of the associated medicines to counter the negative side effects I was feeling better last night. I agreed to go out to a Mexican restaurant in Norton, MA. The food and company was invigoration.
The hubris is was in not thinking ahead and having the Mole Enchilada with hot sauce. I’ve done some pretty idiotic things in my life, some of which culminating with my being given supreme unction, but last night at home, the suffering was at least a six where supreme unction is a ten.
And then, what do I do. I not only agree, but suggest Thai food for tonight. I was wise enough to settle for the Phad Thai and not the green curry, but still, I might as well run with scissor behind Dr. Crane.
A place I never thought I’d be, the presence of the wilderness, the bears fishing in the stream, the hardened faces of the inhabitants who came out to feed the fleshy visitors, the oddly mystical light of the day, all left a lingering impression on my soul.
I won’t say I want go back there, but I can say I’ve been there and for now, that’s enough for me.
Carole Cadwalladr gets one of the better interviews I've read about Mr. Shepard. There's a bit of fluff in the beginning, but it's worth the effort to complete.
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The second byproduct of the treatment was an increase in the green about the gills and loss of appetite. I hope this passes with the three way medication because my birthday dinner tomorrow night is at an Indian restaurant in Stoughton MA known for it's wonderfully spicy food.
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The ten hours from the last time was cut to five.
My body is reacting in all sorts of interesting and confusing ways. It reacts one way from the treatment and the another from the medicine give to counter the side effects. It has the rhythm of a heated argument with me as the arena. The most obvious effect is extreme bone tiredness.
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Image by sgtret via Flickr
If the blog entries have been sparse and few between, we are going to pull the cancer card.
Starting with the discovery of a lump in the neck the day before thanksgiving and up to last week I have gone through a roller coaster of emotions. “Could be cancer, could be something else.” This was the phrase that put a damper on getting treatment started. The next was “Could be lymphoma, could be carcinoma.”
Where we are now is it could be only aggressive or it could be aggressive combined with slow growing. To determine that a sample of the bone in my hip needs to be taken tomorrow.
The chemotherapy begins on Thursday. We’re expecting blizzard like conditions on Wednesday. My son was born during a blizzard, so I will take that as a good sign.
The Famous Grazing blogs were all updated on the turn of the year, but we forgot to include those blogs which cannot use MS's LiveWriter and depend on Ping.fm to feed them.
That's the purpose of this short entry. It's important when you run a blog to keep the entries as up-to-date as possible. If you let a month slip, Xanga as an example, the blog appears and for all goods and purposes, is dead.
We've added PING.FM to a permanent sticky next to the computer screen to remind us when we post not to neglect Trounce Ally and the Xanga Weblog.
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Image via Wikipedia
As I recall the 1960’s, they took forever. Starting with Eisenhower still President and ending with his VP, Nixon as the same, everything in between seemed so full of moment, as narrated by Walter Cronkite.
A visit to the Newseum in Washington, D.C. last summer brought to focus how we were and now are presented with what is happening in the world. Back then the filter was huge. The networks had only forty or so minutes to tell us about what had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Then we went to the newspapers for details and Time and Life for the color photos.
This morning, before my shower and tea, I knew about a drone attack in Pakistan, bridge curve deaths in San Francisco/Oakland and saw pictures of New Year’s celebration around the world. I heard about the New Years Honours in the UK and New Zealand and the death of a philanthropist phrama heiress.
When I bring up Thunderbird, my email will tell me much more about what the intimate and commercial connections to me think I should know.
And then there is Facebook and Twitter. Before and after midnight last night, I was communicating with friends and acquaintances from Juneau to London, from New Zeeland to Manhattan.
I watched the first day of the year unfold through them from the fireworks on the South Island, to Sydney, New Delhi, Cape Town, Paris, London, Boston, New York, Philadelphia and then went to bed. Midnight is no longer so singular when you watch it happen over and over again.
And now we’re off with the kids to see Avatar. (We already saw Sherlock Holmes and loved it.)
Happy New Year, all!
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